Which of the President’s policies, initiatives or campaign achievements is most important to you?

Below is a draft of an essay I’m writing for an internship this summer with the White House Communications Department. Perhaps this is using the collaboration of the medium to selfish ends (in that case sorry), but I do want to hear what you think.

The President’s policy and views on reforming the nation’s education system is the most important to me. As a current college student and as someone who looks forward to become a high school or college teacher reform in this area is of the utmost priority.

Our current system of education is broken; too many kids and teachers alike are failed by underfunded requirements and constraints. The President’s stated goal to reform No Child Left Behind so that teachers do not spend the year preparing students to fill in bubbles on a standardized test is heartening to a liberal arts student who strongly believes in the value of a balanced and critical education.

In addition, their pledge to support the schools that need improvement instead of punishing them is refreshing after years of the removal of funding from the schools that need it most. By committing to provide the funds necessary to allow schools to raise the achievements of students and teachers this administration is creating an environment in which real progress in education can be made. The method of past years, that of restricting funding to the schools that need it in order to develop more efficient models of education, has been one that has clearly not worked as the number of dropouts and underperforming schools have shown.

Furthermore, President Obama’s goal of making science and math a national priority is one that must happen in order for the United States to succeed in the changing global economy. The pace and agility with which the current economy moves means that it is now even more important to push forward in the areas of technological development.

The final aspect of President’ Obama’s education policy that I find to be important to the foundation of a successful education system is the support that he and Vice President Biden seek to give to those learning English as a second language. As a student who volunteered in an English Language Development class in high school I have seen the difficulties that these students face when they are not given the opportunities that they deserve. An education system that does not provide adequate resources for these students is one that hampers their ability to succeed for the rest of their lives.

I believe that the next few years of educational reform as being crucial to this nation’s ability to educate its students in the coming decades. In order to educate citizens that will be able to effectively solve the problems of tomorrow we must fix the education system in such a way that it facilitates the types of critical thinking that is needed.


Leah says:

Well organized and clear.

In the third paragraph (“In addition, their pledge to support the schools…”) the “their” should be a “his” or you should express the subject. (The teachers? or…?)

You did a good job bringing back the prompt in the second to last aka penultimate paragraph.

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